It often happens the same way
You might notice it tends to happen at the same time of day.
Late at night when you are tired. After a stressful day. Or when you are alone with your phone and no one would know.
You were not planning to watch porn, message someone, or pay for online sexual services, but the urge creeps in.
And once it does, it can feel almost impossible to resist.
If this sounds familiar, you are not the only one. Triggers are a huge part of why people feel stuck in the cycle. Recognising them is one of the most important steps in breaking free.
Why your brain goes there
Triggers can be obvious, like being bored in the evening, or more subtle, like a passing feeling of rejection, stress, or even celebration. Your brain has learned that turning to certain behaviours gives a moment of escape, comfort, or pleasure.
The urge itself is not the problem. It is your brain doing exactly what it has been trained to do. That is why it feels so strong and so hard to ignore.
Seeing it differently
Having an urge does not mean you have failed. It is simply your brain doing what it has practised many times before. It does not say anything about you as a person.
Next time an urge shows up, pause and ask yourself: What was happening just before this?
- Were you stressed?
- Lonely?
- Restless?
- Procrastinating?
- Scrolling online without much purpose?
Spotting the pattern is the first step in loosening its grip. Once you can name a trigger, you are no longer completely at its mercy.
Part of the bigger picture
This is the second in a six-part series exploring change and recovery from porn use and compulsive sexual behaviours.
So far, we have looked at why stopping is not just about willpower. Today, we have focused on recognising triggers.
Next time, we will look at what to do right in the moment when an urge hits, so you have something practical to lean on straight away.
How a focused session can help
You do not have to figure this out alone.
In a single 90-minute session, we can focus on:
- Identifying your most common triggers
- Exploring what happens just before the urge
- Finding one or two strategies you can put into practice straight away
You will not leave with everything solved, but you will leave with more clarity than you came in with, and a plan you can use the very next time an urge shows up.
If you would like to see whether a single session might be the right place to begin, you can read more and book a free 15-minute call here:
