You’ve promised yourself you’ll stop watching porn, or stop paying for online sexual services.

You’ve made it a week, maybe a month… and then found yourself right back where you started. That familiar voice pipes up:

“Why can’t I just get a grip on this?”

If this sounds like you, you’re not the only one. Many of the people I work with are capable, successful, and motivated, but this part of life feels like it’s stuck on repeat. It’s frustrating. Embarrassing. And exhausting to keep going round in circles.

Why it makes sense

These behaviours don’t come out of nowhere. Often, they start as a way to cope with stress, loneliness, boredom, or other difficult emotions.
Over time, your brain learns the fastest route to a moment of relief, even if you regret it afterwards. That shortcut becomes automatic, almost like muscle memory.

It’s not a sign of weakness or lack of character. It’s a learned pattern that’s been reinforced over time. And patterns can be changed.

A shift in perspective

The fact that you’ve tried before means you do care about making a change. The missing piece isn’t effort, it’s finding a way to break the pattern and replace it with something that actually works for you.

Sometimes, that starts with understanding one specific trigger. Sometimes, it’s looking at what happens just before you act. And sometimes, it’s about finding one small, realistic step forward, rather than aiming to “fix everything” all at once.

About this series

This is the first in a six-part series exploring change and recovery from porn use and compulsive sexual behaviours.
Over the coming weeks, we’ll look at:

• Identifying and understanding triggers
• Coping with urges in the moment
• What to do after a setback
• Building motivation that lasts
• Finding your first small wins

Each post will stand on its own, so you can start wherever feels most relevant. But together, they’ll give you a range of approaches to help you move forward.

Where Single Session Therapy fits in

You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Some people prefer regular therapy, while others find that just one focused conversation can help them take their first step.

A single 90-minute session gives you space to:

• Talk through a recent setback
• Understand one specific trigger or pattern
• Identify one change you can begin straight away

You won’t leave with everything solved, but you will leave with more clarity and something practical to work with.

If you’d like to see whether a single session might be the right place to begin, you can read more and book a free 15-minute call here: Single Session Therapy.